I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
