So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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