My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
