That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
