I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
