no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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