There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
