Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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