Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
