tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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