I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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