This show inspires me to have sex in space
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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