Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
