"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
