my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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