thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
