He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
