So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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