Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
