I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She announced her abortion via fbk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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