Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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