is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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