Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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