just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
