I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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