so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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