Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
