I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
