but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
