Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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