They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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