id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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