we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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