She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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