fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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