Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
