you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
