he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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