i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
