It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
