Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
