come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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