i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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