I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
