they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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