i jhust puked up my retainher.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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