are you still at the devil's house?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
