I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
