He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
