saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
