It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
