haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
