my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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