If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
