so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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