Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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