dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize