I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
