she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You're a waste of cheezeits
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
