Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
