Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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