They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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