I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
