You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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